"Family" in Korea

Family
For a culture so into family, how do you justify 12 hour work days, hagwons out the wazoo, and soju bathed nights!
I am by no means the most present father or the greatest one, but my son has access to me. My case is a little extreme, I am a teacher and my son is in my class. But, what about the father that works 12 hours a day then goes out drinking with his boss? That sounds extreme - I know, but it is oh so prevalent in Korea.
Another concern I have is the hagwon. This is an academy that offers instruction ranging from Tae Kwon do to math/science. Why do I bring this up? Well the reason is that these children are shuttled to and from hagwon after hagwon throughout the day. The instructors are the main stays and the parents have no influence in the child's life. The thing I see that keeps the kids loyal to family is guilt and the ideology that this is how it has always been done and how it will continue to be done!

Any given night you likely to see hundreds of men out drinking in my neighborhood. Well past 10 o'clock! This is not only because they like to drink, but because they are obligated to go drinking with their bosses!? I know money makes the world go round, but what about the children that don't see their fathers until Sunday. Does the time spent on Sunday allow them to learn about this kid? His likes and dislikes! Does he learn about the kid's true abilities and not just what his wife is telling him? A relationship has GIVE and TAKE involved. I think the lack of fatherly input has and will continue to hurt this nation!

I am of the mind set that a father MUST be present to be effective. If you child is at school 8-10 hours a day and you work 10 or 11 hours a day there is little chance for you to be effective!

Here is a quote from an article I read: The central familial relationship was not that between husband and wife, but rather between parent and child, especially between father and son. At the same time, the relationships among family members were part of a hierarchy. These relationships were characterized by benevolence, authority, and obedience. Authority rested with the (male) head of the household, and differences in status existed among the other family members (Park and Cho 1995a).

1. Isn't a relationship a two way street?
2. How can a child be expected to show piety and the parent not be expected to instruct that child?

Fat while in Korea

I have lived in Korea for three years now I am a big man fairly good looking- I am happily married and probably have one of the top ten cutest sons in Korea. But for some reason Koreans ESPECIALLY women think I NEED to loose weight so I will be "more" good looking. Why? Does the way I look make me do my job better (maybe if I were a model, but I am not)! I am a teacher- will children learn better if I loose weight? I speak to single men and women in the neighborhood, at work, on line, and at the gym. They are constantly "dieting" even though they weigh less than they should already! Their main intent is to get a mate - I guess one question is why do they do so much work on the outside and never realize to work on their attitude and personality? Another part of this question is - why do Koreans seem to be so preoccupied with appearances when their personalities push people away? Many have acted like they are concerned about the health problems of being overweight, but seem to be unaware of the health problems associated with binge eating and drinking or smoking! I also wonder if they realize the mindset that is perpetuated is what keeps the suicide and depression rate so high here?! I also want to know if Koreans realize that fat people have just as much to contribute to society as thin people!